As I walked around my kitchen this morning, praising Jesus, worshipping and thanking Jesus, and just laying all the details of my life at His feet, I felt wonderful. I was in His presence and I was at rest, at peace and determined to cary out any task that He would have asked me to do. “Jesus,” I said ” I’m READY to be the wife that you’ve designed me to be. Let’s do this!”
It was in that moment that God opened my eyes to revisit a certain area in my heart (an area that I mentioned in my last video blog- Dec 22nd) My need to be in CONTROL. “Oh Jesus, we just had such a great time in prayer…do we really need to go there right now?” And He reminded me “Tara, you just told me that you were ready to take on anything that I would have you do….so let’s face this issue that you’ve been avoiding for some time now…” In that moment, I knew that I had to start to face this area in my life- this need to have to be in control of everything- Including trying to control Dave. Now..the funny part is that I’m not in control of anything! Even though I try, all of my efforts are merely causing me to be weary and exhausted and burnt out and FRUSTRATED. Watch the video below…I’ll chat with you a bit about what God has shown me and what He’s started walking me through doing in just the last couple of days.
As the above video was processing, I was going through scripture and asking God to show me where this need to control is stemming from…He revealed to me that it’s because of lack of trust in Him. OUCH. I’m not trusting God with every detail of my life- every situation, and circumstance….Now in my head I know that most certainly HE IS THE ONE TO TRUST- especially above my abilities! So here it goes! This week I will be mediating on these TRUST scriptures. I need to give up the control today. It’s a leap of faith but it’s needs to be taken. So here it goes!….
Jesus, forgive me for not trusting you wholly and completely. My flesh cries out to take control when things don’t make sense in my mind or when I see a situation from MY perspective and not Yours. I know that by trying to be in control of my life and in control of my family, I am only getting in Your way and putting up road blocks where you are trying to work. So tonight I repent and I surrender and I trust that You know best and trust that You have amazing plans for me and my husband. Have your way Lord and guide me Holy Spirit throughout the days to come as I give up my control to You. Work in my life, my marriage, my children- every detail of my life, I hand it over to You. In your precious name, Jesus. Amen