Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.~Proverbs 13:3
I talk too much.
There it’s out.
I talk way too much.
Even when what I’m saying is good, I still find that I talk too much. I can remember back in high school when my husband and I were just dating, he would watch me when I was in conversation with a girlfriend, then look at my friend, stunned and ask her “Did you understand a word she just said?” Let’s just say that not much has changed since high school – when I’m excited and passionate in conversation, my mouth has the ability to move at one thousand miles per hour! (Ok ladies, don’t act like I’m the only one here that’s a fast talker) And so my point is just that. I talk way too much.
So jumping froward from high school, to this present day. A day in the life of my marriage. For those of you who are married, you’ve probably figured out that words can be life giving for a marriage or life draining, depending on which words you chose to speak.
For those of you who are not married, I’m sure you understand that this can go for any relationship- friends, co-workers, parents, children. Our words affect everyone.
A couple of weeks ago I was so excited to share with my bible study group just what God was doing in my heart. I shared (very confidently I might add) that God was helping me to stay quiet and pray about a situation in my marriage. I shared with them that I was trusting God to do the work that needed to be done and that I wasn’t going to keep bringing up a certain situation to my husband because every time I brought it up, it only led to a dead end with nothing accomplished except for hurtful words and no solution. (Because my way obviously wasn’t working, that’s when I had decided it was best to do things God’s way and keep quiet and pray.)
Ok, this is where I’m supposed to tell you that my prayers have been answered and life is perfect and that I succeeded in keeping my mouth shut and praying….BUT it didn’t really go down that way. It didn’t go down that way at all.
That night after bible study, I got home and ….you guessed it, opened my mouth and brought up the situation to my husband. Yep, the very one that God had asked me to keep quiet about. Even as the words were flying from my lips, my heart was telling me to be quiet- that this wasn’t part of the plan, that no good would come of this. But the selfish part of me that wanted to be in control instead of God, got the best of me. I suppose I had a moment of insanity and thought that I could save the day better than God could. Oye.
But anyhoo, let’s just say, I goofed. I opened my mouth- again. But I got back up and I got back up quickly. I ran to the thrown of grace and God showered me with His mercies which are new every single morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23.) I’ve been praying every moment I get. I’ve been praying for the big things and for the little things. I’ve been clinging to Christ every moment I feel the need to open my mouth, pausing to think about what path I will end up going down if I do open my mouth to speak. I quickly chose to pray instead because I know that my ‘words’ have not been having the outcomes that God desires.
Notice how the title of this post states attempt # 3? Well that’s because I’ve been trying to learn this lesson for a while now. But I’m at a point finally where God has got a hold of me on this one. That doesn’t mean that I won’t trip again and speak up when I shouldn’t. But it means that I’m making progress and growing in Christ.
Friends, if you find yourself in this situation, I urge you to be proactive. Get into His word and let Him equip you each and every day for anything that may come. Let Him teach you through His word, how to keep your mouth closed and your eyes on Him.
Note that there most certainly is a time to speak up! I’m not saying that keeping quiet is always the answer. Keeping quiet can often be a bad thing. God will often ask us to speak up-but I’ve heard clearly from God on this one, to be silent and pray.
Are any of you in the same boat? Do any of you need to get a hold of the spirit of self-control when it comes to your words?
I’d love to hear from you if you are! I’d love to pray for you to.